Whoever would’ve thought that Cocaine Bear would spawn an entire sub-genre? But there it is. We’ve already had Cocaine Shark and now, you need to gird your loins for the arrival of Cocaine Werewolf. Well, blow me.
Cocaine Werewolf is directed by Mark Polonia, a man with almost a hundred films that you haven’t heard of to his credit. Well, perhaps some of you are familiar with his oeuvre: his films include Revenge of the Empire of the Apes, Bigfoot vs Zombies, Sharkula, Shark Encounters of the Third Kind, Sharkenstein and the aforementioned Cocaine Shark. Clearly, the man likes his sharks. He also teaches film production at Mansfield University in the US, which begs all manner of questions about educational standards. His teaching duties clearly don’t take up a lot of his time – he directed nine films in 2023. Perhaps his students are roped in to help as part of their education.
Cocaine Werewolf is written by Tyger Torrenz – his first film credit – and stars a lot of people who seem to have mostly worked on other Polonia films. Maybe they are his students too. It boasts a soundtrack from an impressive roster of names – The 69 Cats, Front Line Assembly, Pink Fairies, Switchblade Symphony, Hawkestrel, Synaesthesia, The Brains, Mike Pinera and Hollywood After Dark – that are all signed to production company Cleopatra’s record division. It is available for download if you want to check it out: https://orcd.co/cocainewerewolfsoundtrack. The film itself has its first (and possibly only) theatrical screenings at the Arcadia Theater in Wellsboro, Pennsylvania on July 5th and 6th, before making its way onto disc and streaming a month later.
Micro-budget horror films are usually either a lot of fun or the digital equivalent of anaesthetic-free tooth extraction and I hesitate to say which side this film will land on. The trailer suggests that it could be either and I have no experience of Polonia’s other work to go on. The poster is fun but I suspect that the movie will not have the shamelessness to deliver on the retro exploitation cheap thrills that it probably needs. Nevertheless, I’m happy to be proven wrong. I always go into these things hoping for another Sharknado, even if my optimism is rarely rewarded. If we get to see the film, we’ll review it – either here or on our YouTube channel or both.
DAVID FLINT
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